I performed my first wedding last weekend and had prepared many things to say during the service to the couple. All of us felt the nerves, the significance of this moment, the grand promises and high hopes for the future. As I stood in front of this beautiful couple and felt their tender energy, witnessed their love, and humor, I was so humbled and moved. I was not expecting to see such a distant country in their eyes. When I began to speak to them I saw within each of their gazes a bright light, a heavenly sun. I saw our destination, our ultimate home--this heaven where love lives. I was so humbled by the light flowing through their eyes that I wanted to weep. But I had to speak. So I suppressed my tears until they were flowing down my nose instead. I quickly forgot all the things I wanted to say, as we shared these most precious moments together. So here it is, post ceremoniously, some reflections on the beauty of marriage in a time when monogamy and devotion seem to be disposable.
Marriage is the ongoing work of a mystery of the two becoming One. Just as a drop of water in a glass of wine cannot be removed, so it is that once the two become one, it is impossible for them to become two again. For they have co-mingled in the mystery and alchemy of love. Hieros Gamos or sacred union is one of the most lofty goals and highest achievements that can be made by humanity: that joining together of the divine man and the divine woman within human flesh. It is the work and alchemy of love itself, the transmutation of lead to gold, the restoration of the dignity of humanity, the honoring of the sacred masculine and the sacred feminine, connecting humanity back to its true divine nature and source. True marriage is not a ball and chain: it is freedom to become more of who you really are, a promise to remember the divine light in our beloved. Like many beautiful ancient spiritual teachings given to humanity, the rites of marriage were distorted and used as a system of ownership and slavery and violence. We do not agree to participate in the distortions any longer, but to reinstate the glory and pinicle work of love that is possible for humans at this time that we all may experience the god and goddess remembering one another.
I was studying about consciousness recently and learned that the polarities of divine mind are necessary to hold the expansive field of consciousness. This means that paradox and opposites and tensions are necessary for life to flow. Marriage is not supposed to be about the loss of self. It is the call to know thyself. To know our light, our divine nature, our dignity, and our gifts, our unique stance in the hologram of creation. It is also a call to know our shadows, our growth edge, our lands of unconsciousness. Our mates help us see more clearly. Tensions are not to be avoided. They are necessary catalysts for our growth. They call us to express ourselves more clearly. To grow beyond any illusions. For the true nature of reality—the sages and ascended masters have told us throughout the ages—is that love is the ultimate reality, all else is illusion.
"Through my love for you, I want to express my love for the whole cosmos, the whole of humanity, and all beings. By living with you, I want to learn to love everyone and all species. If I succeed in loving you, I will be able to love everyone and all species on Earth. This is the real message of love." -Tich Nhat Hanh
Marriage is a call to work on shedding the illusions together, until nothing is left but the purity of two light beings and their unified field of love. For all that is created in love is eternal. The mystery of the two becoming one is also the mystery of the two becoming three. Your relationship is the field of consciousness where a brand new energy is born. Carrying the unique aspects of woman, and the unique aspects of man, you are both weaving together a new reality of love on earth. You are anchoring one of the most indestructible creative forces onto the earth through your devotion and care for your union.
So tend the field of your relationship, just as you would tend a garden. Be mindful of your words and the energies you exchange with one another each day. When you make a mistake, be humble and courageous to make it right and to continue to learn your divinity in humility. For all of our mistakes are simply learning opportunities, opportunities to shed illusions, opportunities to remember divine truth. Learn until there is nothing left but love within each of you and all around you.
Many blessings on this union and every union on earth this day. May your marriage and every marriage be free of the illusory chains of slavery and illusionary models of co-depentent self-sacrifice. May your marriage be uplifted back to its beautiful expression of divine man and divine woman. May your marriage and every marriage be filled with many years of joy and happiness for the greatest good of all beings.