Solstice Blessings: Play Your Trump Card


I'm not an astrology expert, but those who have been watching the stars and planets have said that we are moving through a similar conjunction as we did in the 60s. We are in a time of great change and shifting sands.  This is all very uncomfortable.  It seems every day there is something reported that fuels the flames of indignant rage.  People have said this is the time of Kali rising, the dark mother who brings death, transformation, and new life.   

Anger is a challenging emotion.  In my psychology studies I learned that emotions are neither good or bad, even though by the time I had gotten to college I had already decided which ones were acceptable and which were not. It is what we choose to do with our feelings that matters, if we can still reach our feelings and relate to them consciously. Many of us move too fast to even have time to consider how we really feel.  Our electronics and modern day life keep us operating at a different frequencies that are out of alignment with the natural frequencies of the human body and earth.  Many of us are raised to think more than to feel. But when we take this too far, when we are more prone to obey to the rules of society in order to be 'successful' many of us will find ourselves swimming in a world of psychopaths so cut off from true feelings that they are able to do horrible acts to other people without flinching. This is not as some have confused, true strength or power, this is the fragmentation of humanity. These are the doors to transhumanism and genocide. 

As a child I remember having meltdowns and huge tantrums. I remember feeling that my frustration was valid--it happened for a reason-- and that the adults around me just didn't understand what was going on inside me and I didn't have the words to tell them. As I grew up and wanted so bad to be cool and accepted by my peers, I cut off a relationship with my anger. I didn't want to feel it, see it, or be it.  At one point I found it incredibly difficult to express any of my anger.  Often anger is the only emotion men are permitted; conversely I was afraid of becoming an angry woman that men feared. I became an expert liar. A pleaser. I was great at pretending everything was fine when it really wasn't. I had horrible boundaries because I didn't want to be mean or make anyone else feel uncomfortable. I believed standing up for myself was selfish, so I took the internal hit. I didn't know how to connect to that place deep within me that had been shamed as a child and hold her safe. Because being nice and smoothing out differences was a higher cultural value than expressing individual feelings and individuating unique differences.  At some point this game starts costing too much. It costs us an authentic connection with our soul and true self.

For many years I believed I was just a chill person (the weed helped with that) until I found myself in a relationship where my ancient rage got triggered. Then in an instant my illusions about myself and my persona unraveled and I stood as The Terrible Mother, like Kali herself, full of rage. I was scared of myself and what I was capable of feeling: it was big. We are taught to repress this socially unacceptable stuff, but we really can't keep up this work. As Carl Jung discovered, what we repress becomes even stronger in the unconscious until one day it is strong enough to unravel all the illusions--it breaks forth from the underworld like destiny.  And then you discover yoga and learn how to meditate. (I don't do what I do because I am an expert; I do it because I must learn.)  Maybe all we can learn is how much we do not know. And then we learn to be humble, more sensitive to others, and truly human.  

We are unraveling so many illusions in our world today.  Lifting up the floorboards we are finding the structures rotting. At first blush this is daunting. At second, we are finally seeing more clearly. Third, we begin to build a more compassionate relationship with the terrifying aspects of our human psyches and learn how to harness this raw primal energy for new life. For the anger is a clue that boundaries have been violated; it's not the goal or where we stay in our healing journey. We pass through the fires of transformation that all the illusions may burn away, that we may rise to new life again.

I can't help but think that during this Trump presidency that this is our calling: to consider and discover the true trump cards, or values, that rule the deck, or the sacred cosmos. So I've been thinking a lot about Tarot cards lately and learning about ancient Christian hermetic tradition that comes out of France, my hunch is from the Magdalene wisdom and from the more mystical Jewish roots of Christianity. The cards teach us about archetypes, or building blocks, or nodes in the human psyche of wholeness. Each card is a human lesson that helps us integrate and connect the wisdom found in the tree of light available to the whole human family.  In the 78 card Tarot deck there are 22 trump cards also known as Major Arcana. The trump cards reveal what is the higher spiritual law. There are hierarchies in the spirit realm, there are lessons we must learn before we can be initiated into the higher sacred dimensions. The subtle rules the dense, so if we know the cosmic law and how it operates in the universe, we can move through these challenging times and continue to do what we came here to do: to learn, and to teach, and to learn, etc.  

I recently had a dream that I was inside of The Tower trump card, and I knew it was about to fall. While the card appears frightening--the good news is that the illusions are being stripped away and the false gods are falling making way for the truth.  

For those of us who have been willing to give away our power (and thus alleviate our responsibility) we are really struggling as those external authority figures are obviously flaying--or as we saw in 9/11, quite literally falling out of The Tower. The process of waking up and discovering our own personal connection, personal authority, and journey of learning requires us to take the logs out of our own eyes, to stop projecting power outside, or evil outside, and to do the reconciling work of balancing the opposites within.

For me this is ongoing work with my rage. If I remain cut off from what's beneath that rage--which is deep sorrow-- anger can bubble up out of me unexpectedly.  Sorrow is also a challenge for our culture, for no one wants to be the Debbie Downer of the party. But once we acknowledge what is inside of us, it releases us--it does not sneak up and possess us or wreck our plans to get our attention. 

The truth of our human experience is at heart a crucified reality.  Love dies over and over again on the earth plane. Justice is not served--she's crying out on the streets. We saw this again in the senseless shooting of Philando Castile and the trial that followed. We live in a crucified reality because love still dies here on planet earth; it is raped, starved, homeless.  It doesn't climb the corporate ladder so well. It doesn't rule this world for power and Sophia (the love of wisdom) have been long estranged.  But love does rule the subtle spiritual reality which rules the entire cosmos and will rule eternally. So whenever we play that trump card, we will have the whole force of the heavenly realms at our side to witness and stand in solidarity with our brother and sisters in sorrow.  We will also have the assurance that no matter how things turn out down here, that we are doing what we came here to do: we are learning/teaching/learning love, and we are not giving up until we have played all our cards.  And in the end, love will reign again for it is everlasting and no forces of darkness shall overcome it.  So press on dear ones, and let love call us on to even deeper awareness and care for ourselves and the whole human family.        


Enjoy these songs I sung by Buffalo River last night <3  Baba yaga is my nod to the dark feminine, Kali energy that can bring the light of consciousness back to our mad lives.

I need hairy woman
With a few extra pounds
I need a very old woman
Who hobbles around
In a house with chicken feet
In a yard covered in bone
I need a witchy bitchy woman
Cuz she knows what's going down

Baba Yaga can ya light my fire?
Cuz my light has gone out
And I've lost my mother
My light has gone out
And this world's been cruel
My light has gone out
And I need another


I offer private healing sessions to clients using yoga, meditation, energy medicine, oils, prayer and more.  

Detoxing God: A Memoir
By Jessica Zdenek