OUR VOICE IS OUR GIFT TO OUR COMMUNITY
This past week I have been so inspired by the number of women stepping forward and giving voice to their stories. Many of us suffer from throat chakra issues stemming from childhood trauma or the long history where we were taught at a young age things like: children are seen and not heard. In the past women have been threatened with exile or death for speaking our wildly unorthodox truth. Some of us have learned to speak so soft it feels like we are yelling when we are talking at a normal range. Others have learned to "stuff it" until we explode in other unhealthy ways. Others have learned to lower our registers so that we sound like a man in order to be taken seriously. But now more of us are stepping out and honoring our truth voiced from the depths of our bodies in our naturally higher pitched registers. We are freeing ourselves from the history of constraints placed upon women. And as we give ourselves permission to be free, we free those around us too.
I have been at a retreat all weekend and my intention coming here was to have a break through. And boy did I.
So here's a strange thing: when I was a child I spoke in tongues. This is an ancient tradition that I was taught stemmed from the early church, but it is actually found in numerous spiritual traditions around the world. In ancient Greece those who spoke "divine language" or "glossolalia" or "light language" were afforded high social status because they were thought to have the ability to commune with the angelic realms. (Today I think it's mostly dismissed as weird, which is why I rarely share this fact with others. But I'm learning to embrace my weird especially when it resonates with soul.) I received the gift when I was about five years old when my family attended a charismatic church that met in an old theater in upstate Rome, NY. I recall using this language a lot by myself as I played in nature, or spent time alone in my room praying to God. It seemed very natural to me as a child and I truly felt as if I were talking with God in a language that only he could understand. As I grew older I sort of forgot about it until I went on a mission trip to Mexico in college and a teacher spent some time with me helping me to remember how to do it. From then on into my adult life I usually found myself speaking in tongues sort of automatically when I was alone and super worried about something that I didn't know how to fix. I would offer it up to the divine with these mysterious prayers that just seemed too deep for human words until the burden was released.
Have you ever experienced one of those moments where you just knew that you had to speak? Have you ever felt that some force beyond you was prodding you to open your mouth because something had to be said? Have you ever just opened your mouth in these moments without knowing exactly what it was that was going to come out of your mouth and trusted these totally improvisational moments? (I remember Jesus telling his disciples not to worry, that the Holy Spirit would give them the right words at the right time. Talk about learning not to have control issues!) I have had this urging happen a few times in my life, usually while gathered in a spiritual community and collectively contemplating together as we seek higher wisdom. When I get a message to share, usually what happens is my heart begins to pound so hard in my chest it feels as if it might explode if I don't listen to the call and speak. My mother taught me that this was an experience of the Holy Spirit, and to listen to my heart in these moments. (Yeah I totally rebelled. But I also listened :P). Each time it has happened I am usually totally surprised by what comes out of my mouth because it's usually something beyond what I could have conceived. I know that it is from a higher source because the community responds with a deep resonance. The words that poured through me during these experiences had always been in English. That was until yesterday.
I was in sacred circle with my sisters and we had brought ourselves into a deep meditative state where we were collectively listening for wisdom to guide us into deeper understanding. We were asked to speak as we felt inspired and I knew I would only speak if my heart started to pound. I listened as many sisters shared beautiful inspirational messages and I thought I might just sit this one out. But then it happened. My heart began to pound. This time with more intensity than I ever remember. And this was new: I had my eyes closed but I could see a bright light descending on top of my head. It ignited my whole body with so much energy I thought I might explode if I didn't release something. So I opened my mouth. And I spoke. In light language. It was an ecstatic experience.
My sisters and I didn't understand the words that poured forth, but we resonated with the feelings. Several sisters began to cry, another told me she felt like a huge purge was happening, I had tears running down my face. It felt like there was a collective release of old trauma. Talk about a cleanse! I was totally surprised that the light language came out. I was surprised how it affected my sisters. I was surprised because I brought a secret gift into the world and instead of being shunned it was received with grace and it benefited others.
We are blessed to live in this time where it is safe to come out into the world and share our truth now. This was a powerful lesson for me this weekend. I remembered that I belong to something greater than myself and by surrendering to the ever present mystery that is unfolding, by offering our gifts in service to others, by sharing our stories, our song, our voices, we become a part of the collective healing that is so needed at this time. When we heal ourselves, we are healing the world. When we are brave to speak, others are encouraged.
May you all be encouraged this week to let your soul speak in all the ways that the spirit calls you!
Love and light <3
Jess
Stay calm during the election chaos and join me everyday on Facebook to practice peace within and send love and light out to the world.
Have a great week!